i can’t fathom how others vary

some people find me to be

/pure goodness\

others find i lose my temper easily or annoying.

A. lauds me much more than i deserve, saying I should have graduated with a I (First class hons) and that Id suit being a movie star.
She and A(2) would visit another continent to see me and catch up, while my own sister with only a week in the country, takes a day-trip with my dad and her friend without a Goodmorning to me nevermind an invite. No calls no message thereafter.

those who i get on  best with and who hold me in high regard, tend to be the most intelligence selfless and talented. and this conclusion is unrelated to my reaction to getting on well with them.

im wondering how to explain the disparity in peoples view of me and i suppose
im unforgiving but very good at rewarding admirable traits and behaviour. when i admire someone fully i always get on with them…

my sister, i admire in a balanced and just way, yet she scorns me. i think she has a chip on her shoulder resents me.
same with my father. neither of them respect me.

some people ask if i’ve “heard about the results of my work interview” , whether I’ve “been playing music much recently” or how it feels to be nomadic” while others never mention me in our conversations.

some resent me for expressing an emotion, others treat me tenderly when i seem upset or fragile and encourage me to be open about my feelings and stance. Others yet, will respond thornily to a reuest even if I’m on the brink of fainting or in the midst of a fever.